The Library Annex

I know that it was around this time that I started having a recurring dream. In it, I find myself on the streets of some unnamed city, a neighborhood with trees, storefronts, light traffic. The day is pleasant and warm, with a soft breeze, and people are out shopping or walking their dogs or coming home from work. In one version I’m riding a bike, but most often I’m on foot, and I’m strolling along, without any thoughts in particular, when suddenly I realize that no one recognizes me. My security detail is gone. there’s nowhere I have to be. My choices have no consequence. I wander into a corner store and buy a bottle of water or iced tea, making small talk with the person behind the counter. I settle down on a nearby bench, pop open the cap on my drink, take a sip, and just watch the world passing by. I feel like I’ve won the lottery.

I remember the excitement and urgency of November 4th, 2008, not only to visit our nearest polling place to vote for Barack Obama but to bring my son along. We had celebrated his second birthday the day before. Like many fathers, I have high expectations for my son but considering his age I decided to withhold the kinds of lectures that he would receive later in life. Even I knew at the time they would serve me alone. I simply wanted to create an event in his life that he could later tell his own family and social circle – “I was there when my parents voted for Obama – the first president who looks like me.”

I recall the elation I felt later that night, wondering where this conceding version of John McCain had been hiding during his campaign, and then later the historical weight of President-Elect Obama’s address in Grant Park. Is this real?

This memoir, composed of narratives bordering on the esoteric tempered with personable anecdotes, honest self-critique and transparent deliberation, compels me to think differently about this man removed from the pressures of politics who reminds the public how he is – in fact – just a man guided by character, values and integrity for better or worse. While the media focused on the possible and then probable election of the first Black president of the United States, I think back to my own work following his every move (I kept notebooks, speech transcripts, news articles, etc through his candidacy and first year of presidency) when I identified with his character and ideals. I shuddered when imagining people voting for him because he was black as much as when imagining others voting for McCain for the same reason. His race, like that of my own family, served as an influence on his character and experience and I defend that it nurtured the human being we voted into the presidency.

I think also about his detractors, those who would read his honest self-criticism and transparent deliberation and argue the validity of their fervent denunciation of him. But we elect humans to the presidency and cannot reasonably fault them for their humanity; those who might second-guess themselves, acknowledge shortcomings and humbly think about the merit of their decisions. This book reminds me of the human we had in office and how those qualities, when tempered with character, supercede the media images, the iconography of his brand and the historical significance of his skin color.

Now, I must also admit that this memoir ironically clarifies the Trump years for me. Those supporting Trump likely feel the same way as Obama supporters regarding his character, his cry for change, his representation of hope albeit for a different American attitude. The differences between Presidents Obama and Trump, while stark in character, play similarly in the political arena. Trump simply panders Obama’s playbook to a different crowd after replacing certain character traits and concepts. We now see how two poles can exist on the same planet.

While watching Michelle Obama’s documentary of Becoming on Netflix, my son asked, “If you replace Michelle Obama with Trump in this same documentary, would people hate it even though it would have the same things?” I understood the question. His heart recognizes and wants to defend those getting bullied and smeared, even if they themselves play the bully. He seeks the good and defensible in everyone. Liberal elite or conservative bigot, if he catches someone trashing the other, he rushes to those playing defense. He wants to see a unifying reality, a world without hypocrisy. Knowing this, I told him that character matters. That a life lived, or a documentary made, results from that character. He would never see the things exhibited in the Becoming documentary in a Trump documentary because of the differing characters. I have hope that he will one day couple my “lectures” with his own life experiences and realize the importance of characteristics displayed by people like President Obama, embracing all their humanity, and exhibit them in whatever sphere of influence he chooses.